DIRTY DOG DAILY
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Buddy “Fat Bastard” the Beagle Arrested for Humping Victoria’s Secret Polka Dot Dog
By CEE CEE WRITER
Five-year-old Buddy the Beagle a.k.a. “Fat Bastard” was arrested around lunch time at the new Hill Country Galleria Bee Cave, Texas Victoria’s Secret store for humping their big ass pink and white polka dot dog.
Store officials described the scene as utter chaos. “Teenage girls were laughing and calling our polka dot dog a slut and scores of our Go Wild Very Sexy ® panties were littered across the store with their crouches eaten out,” a panicked Miss Store Manager told Cee Cee Writer of the Dirty Dog Daily.
“We caught Buddy in here last week nosing around our flirty, charming Cheekies; he’s one disturbed dog,” Miss Store Manager said. “We asked Buddy why he didn’t chew up our new Victoria’s Secret Pink bra line, but he replied without remorse that he was an ass woofer.”
Judge Olgethorpe P. Bushwakker III was going to let Buddy off on good behavior, but Fat Bastard is not known for civil conduct. Buddy the Beagle’s lawyer, Legal Beagle from the offices of Howling and Barking, defended his client by stating the Victoria’s Secret panties were three for thirty-dollars and that his client had to take a piss.
Upon announcing Buddy’s incarceration, the Beagle howled and barked in court “I’m a perfect angel,” and then nonchalantly sauntered over to the judge’s bench and pissed on his exposed leg. Buddy will be confined in the Austin City dog pound for twenty-four hours. His owner, Austin Girl, must reimburse Victoria’s Secret for the thirty pair of crouch-less panties. And the Victoria’s Secret pink and white polka dot dog secured a retraining order against Buddy the Beagle for assault with a friendly weapon.
Two Tail and Eight Paw Productions, Inc. is a screenwriting company with interests in exploiting Buddy “Fat Bastard” the Beagle in every media facet possible. For more information, please visit Austin Girl Blog at http://www.austingirlblog.blogspot.com.
CONTACTS: Austin Girl (Media Hound and Entertainment Writer)
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If ya laughed and think Fat Bastard is friggin' funny...please tell everyone!
3 comments:
Buddy does Not look like a Happy Camper!! He cracks me up*
Will U be modeling da Crotchless Panties???
;PPP
Hey Buddy, you don't look such a fatty to me!
Is it your vet calls you that?
My vet is ALWAYS calling me stuff like that.
Wot cheek!
It's great you popped over to see us, and kind of you to leave a lovely messge in ouor shout box.
Don't tell the grown ups I came here - they might think you will be a bad influence!!
Keep causing havoc, bad boy!
excellent mug shot. much better than lohan.
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